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I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me A sexy name decoder! Link stolen from Blondage.   She is aching for a touch. Hands bound at the wrists, hung high above her head. Feeling the tension increase as she struggles unsuccessfully to stand flat-footed on the ground. Her arms feel cool and slightly tingly as her blood is having a small problem circulating since her arms are elevated. She can feel the strain in her feet and calves from staying tip-toed for so long. She is beginning to tire. This is when someone enters the room. She can feel the swish of the air as they walk by her. A finger covered in something gooey enters her mouth and runs over the inside of her lips and her tongue. Opening her jaw wide, her tongue now clumsy inside her numbed mouth. She bites her lip hard, waiting to feel pain in her nerves, waiting to feel any physical response. All she has is the fuzzy feeling of nothing. Without proper control of her lips and tongue, the excess saliva in her mouth that she would normally swallow slowly dribbles down her chin. She is strung here, drooling like an infant, and unable to do anything to stop it. Resigned, she hands her head in defeat, the cool silk of the blindfold brushing against her eyelids. A touch. Barely anything. Any other time she probably wouldn't even have registered it but naked, blind and deafened with earplugs, her remaining senses have sharpened. There it is again in the small of her back. It is like the softest breeze, the most gentle caress. The tiny, almost invisible, hairs covering her entire body are all standing on end in anticipation of this phantom touch. Nothing for what seems like an eternity. The only sensations she knows are the strain in her muscles and the liquid dripping from her mouth to cool to a chill on her chest. Her thigh. She can feel herself leaning into the touch in an effort to have it connect even more with her flesh. A stronger feeling just so she can assure herself that there actually is a touch. Her body is rigid, readying itself for when they next feather-light brush will appear. That's it: a feather. Her mind hungrily files away the sensation. Now that she has something to picture mentally, she doesn't feel quite as isolated. Any mental picture is better than none at all. She wrinkles her nose as something fluffy brushes underneath it. A touch on her lips. She can barely feel it for the moment but her muscles twitch involuntarily as the smooth caress travels down her front. She is leaning as far forward as her restrained body will allow. She is becoming desperate for some sort of pressure on her skin. Anywhere. This cotton ball lover that runs over her flesh is driving her mad. The softness of it all is wreaking havoc on her sense of touch, rendering every inch of her skin extremely sensitive to even the slightest change in the air. Along her aching calves the feather drags. If she wouldn't unbalance herself by standing on one leg, she would have kicked out in protest. Dancing along the soles of her already ticklish feet and she jerks away, a whimper escaping from her throat and a fresh stream of saliva running in clear rivulets down her chin. She swears she can feel every hair follicle on her body. She presses her cheek to her arm just so she is able to remember what a feeling of pressure on her skin feels like. Suddenly, the tension holding up her wrists loosens and she falls to her knees, off balance. The knot holding her up must have been undone somehow. She brings her hands to her face, wiping off her spittle and pressing against her still numbed mouth. Suddenly, fingernails are raked lovingly down her back and she screams in release. All it took was a touch. ***** So I pulled an all-nighter last night to write my 12-page sociology final. I wrote over 2000 words in about seven hours and the essays are all set to hand in today. Class isn't until 2:30 but, believe it or not, by the time I was finished printing everything I was too tired to sleep. I'll pass out at the boy's place tonight. Maybe I'll fall asleep before he will so I won't wake up to his snoring! I'm also glad that my cramps are finally receding, so now the blood should stop flowin' sometime soon. One last thing: Andrea is coming to visit me this weekend! We'll have fun even though she'll have to humour me while I get some schoolwork done. The term's almost over. Two more weeks of class, then come finals. Ugh... I know I posted this same picture last year but this is what it looks like outside again...  *stupid link of the day* Odd Picture: I sincerely hope that these guys are part of a comedy show, contestants in some kind of game show, or being paid a lot of money. JeN's mind ejaculated @ 10:59 a.m. | | I live for today. I live for your smile. I live for your voice. I live to try and be what you need. I live for what I see in your eyes when you look at me. I live for the grin I get when you tease me. I live for the butterflies in my stomach when you appear. I live to share with you. I live for the safety of being in your arms. I live for kissing you while you sleep. I live for the lame songs we sing. I live for having you confide in me. I live to be your cheerleader. I live to support you. I live to treat you. I live to be touched by you. I live for your kiss. I live for the silly jokes we tell. I live to help take away your problems. I live to make you happy. I live to love you. I live for sleepy snuggles in the morning. I live to have you kiss away my tears. I live to enjoy you. I live to learn things about you. I live for the scent of your skin. I live to share in your excitement. I live to please you. I live to intrigue you. I live for us having our differences. I live for the feeling of your skin against mine. I live for testing your tolerance of me. I live to be there for you. I live for holding you close. I live to put you back together when you fall apart. I live to be yours. I live for today. *stupid link of the day* Singing Penis Video: oh yes, it's childish humour and I think it's freakin' hilarious! JeN's mind ejaculated @ 11:07 p.m. | | Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire was interesting. I'm rather glad I didn't read the book right before seeing the movie like I did for HP3. I learned my lesson this time. Warning: this post may contain possible spoilers. Compared to the books, I think the fourth movie was the worst one filmed so far. The directors really should just start chopping them into two separate movies. I mean, it's not like they're short on time or funding. I'm sure the actors will keep wanting to star in the movies too. To me it seemed that all of the action scenes were pulled out of the book and smushed together with only a little bit of dialogue for continuity's sake. There was little if no character development at all. I didn't feel that the characters learned anything of importance, except for maybe that the opposite sex doesn't have cooties. Since the main Hogwarts students are all getting a bit older (Hermione, Ron and Harry are supposed to be age 14 in "Goblet of Fire"), they're all turning into quite the eye candy, especially Miss Emma Watson. The other wizards and witches from the other two schools were rather aesthetically pleasing as well. I'm pretty sure that there will be many girls drooling over the guys who played Viktor Krum and Cedric Diggory and boys jerking off to Fleur Delacour (Clémence Poésy even did a topless scene in another movie, "Bienvenue chez les Rozes" in 2003) and Cho Chang (an Asian with a Scottish accent!). I was rather disappointed that several small but important things were cut out of the movie. One of those things being the simple fact of explaining how Barty Crouch Jr got out of Azkaban! Would it really be that difficult to take two minutes to explain how he is no longer in prison and who helped that to come about instead of letting the audience (who haven't read the book) thinking "wtf?" I also think that the little bit of info about Hermione and and S.P.E.W. and the house elves would have been nice since it gives a little more insight into her character. I remember that I was rather upset when Cedric was killed by Voldemort at the end of the book. I didn't really feel much for his character in the movie since there wasn't enough interaction between the characters for me to develop any attachment for them. It wasn't even mentioned that Cedric and Cho were actually dating each other at this point, so it looked like she was more upset than most students when he died. At the very least the movie could have showed Harry leaving the Dursley's house because we already know that it's important for him to go there every summer. Or how about a little more alluding to the Ron-Hermione luv and/or the Harry-Ginny luv... or at least the freakin' important Harry-Cho luv? Hell, I'm surprised there was even a mentioning of the demise of Mr and Mrs Longbottom. It's just another movie where I suspect only the Cole's Notes were read instead of the actual book. I know that it was important to cut a lot of unimportant stuff out so that it was possible to make one movie out of a 700+ page book, but why cut out stuff that is crucial to a full understanding of the storyline? Why only include the action scenes and leave out the stuff that makes us come to love these characters? Yes, fast-paced action catches our attention but fans don't fight for these books just to read about, say, a Quidditch game. We want character development! Agree with me or not, I like HP4 as a movie and an entertaining movie only. When I compare it to the book, which I can't help doing, it is a terrible movie. I still can't wait for HP5 to finish filming though! Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire: Book vs Movie 
*stupid link of the day* Happy Sunshine Storytime: I wonder how the world would be if this was the kind of story we'd read alound in the classroom. JeN's mind ejaculated @ 11:58 p.m. | |
 Me: what should I get Scooter for Christmas? Joey: you don't have to get her anything. She's a fucking cat. Me: are you getting her something? Joey: ... yes... [edit] Scooter: I'm not a raccoon, I'm "a-dorable." *stupid link of the day* K-Fed's single: wow, Mrs Britney's first released track off of his first album sucks dirty monkey balls. Picture Vanilla Ice... and then downgrade him by a zillion. JeN's mind ejaculated @ 10:41 p.m. | | Many men out there watch porn, it seems. I think that in my next life I'd like to come back as a male so I can understand what the big deal about porn is. As much as I try not to let the idea of pornography get to me, every so often it seeps through the chinks in my mind. I've seen the stuff that the boy watches and I can't quite decide whether I am fascinated or disgusted. A little of both. He watches the "lesbian" (girl-on-girl) stuff almost exclusively and doesn't really seem to mind the way my lip curls when I watch it on his computer. The whole idea of how the way a girl who does porn is supposed to embody North American society's idea of physical perfection (maybe with a few exaggerations) bothers me. The slim women who look like they are the age of late teens/early twenties with their large breasts and long hair and flawless skin is what irks me. I think of how after constantly masturbating to the same thing Pavlov's theory would help to indicate that one would associate that thing with pleasure.  That "thing" being the girls in the porno, but then there is me who is far from them in looks. I'm not stick-thin, I don't have flawless features, I can't pleasure someone orally for what seems like hours on end without getting tired. In those vulnerable moments right before I fall asleep I find myself wondering if he compares me to those girls in front of the camera. I wonder if he ever feels disappointed because I don't look like them and I don't act like them. I wonder if he ever wishes he knew what it would be like to be with them (save the whole steroetype of the pornstar crawling with STIs). When he is with me, does he ever imagine that I look like one of those girls? During those moments before sleep where all my walls are down, I am the most susceptible to negative thoughts. Those thoughts follow me into dreams and, if vivid enough, are still there when I wake. There are times when he touches me for no particular reason, when he tells me he loves me, when he tolerates all of my annoying quirks with a smile, and it's those frequent moments when I know he doesn't care what I look like or that fact that I'm not really willing to do girl-on-girl sex. He will hold my hand in public, he will tolerate when I pout, he even goes along with the ways I make fun of his gross habits.  Maybe there are times when I feel ugly and that no one should be subjected to the sight of me. Maybe there are times I wish I was more attractive according to North American society's standards. Maybe there are also times that he can make me feel truly beautiful and I wouldn't trade being who I am with him for anything in the universe.*stupid link of the day* All Look Same: I'm sure there are many people out there who, deep down, have thought that all Asian people look the same. Would you care to test that theory? JeN's mind ejaculated @ 3:45 p.m. | | The Halloween party was fun times. I'm glad I got to go. I'm also glad that certain boys drink enough to consider letting a girl dress them up in her clothing. Now if only there was a polite way to let him know that he makes a hideous woman. Joey, Kyle and I left for Toronto around 3:30 last Friday and we made a side trip so I could get my shaver exchanged. Turns out it's not defective, it's just built funny. You have to have everything lined up precisely in order for it to work. It works now! James showing off his Jedi mind tricks "these are not the drunks you are looking for" Jedi Master brandishing his ultimate weapon Mistress Amanda & James Kenobi they say they're "hetero" life mates... Amanda & James have a nice apartment. I think it's great because along with the two bedrooms they also have two bathrooms! Lucky Amanda, not having to share a bathroom with a boy. Well, James is pretty girly when it comes to body and hair products... Anyway, we sat around and drank while waiting for everyone else to show up, then we drank some more. Around 11 we headed to a bar to drink and dance. There was a best costume contest and I was rooting for the girl who dressed up as a Rubik's cube. Sadly she lost to a guy who came as a Dirty Sanchez (ew). Chloe the flight attendant & Father Gus punk rock Jeremy it was even funnier because he totally pulled off the look even though normally he looks the complete opposite Mistress Amanda slapping a tush with her riding crop Joey & the schoolgirl oh yes, I slutted it up While we were still at the apartment, Amanda managed to dress Joey up in some of her clothes. He looked like a ten-cent whore. I still can't believe he went along with it. It's amazing what just a little bit of alcohol can do to one's inhibitions. He even went out to the bar dressed like that. Bright red wig, red mesh shirt, red lace bra that we stuffed with tissues, black pantyhose and a tight skirt. There were no heels that would fit him so he wore his own shoes. It turns out that there were lots of guys talking about him once we got to the bar. He even used the women's washroom. The quote of the weekend being "fuck you, I'm a dude!" Kyle wearing a bad wig and "Josephine" Mistress Amanda helping "Josephine" with her undergarments a Domme and a cross-dresser posing all pretty my costume twin? what was even more disturbing than the cross-dresser was the fact that Joel showed up in the same costume I did. I think he was trying to be a Scotsman, but he looked more like a schoolgirl *stupid link of the day* ascii pr0n: some people have way too much time on their hands. I suppose this would be the nerd's pornography. JeN's mind ejaculated @ 2:11 p.m. | | I make a mockery of colour bars. I think they're kinda dumb. This one is genius and it's the stupid link of the day!  Mario is murder. So I haven't been around because my computer is being screwy again. Need to find time to get it fixed. I wonder when it will decide to break again and for how long? Tagged by Jasmine 10 years ago: I was in grade 6 and going through health class for the first time. I realized that sex was one of the most disgusting and fascinating things then. Nicole and I were the 2-headed monster that year for Halloween. So difficult to trick-or-treat in but so much fun! 5 years ago: I was in grade 12 and struggling with my first big relationship. It was falling apart and, even though I think I knew it was time to end it, I still wanted to hold on. That only worked until about February 1 year ago: I was in Waterloo and Lauren came to visit me and we went to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show with some friends at the Princess Theatre. Yesterday: I slept all day after coming back from Amanda & James' Halloween party in Toronto 5 snacks I enjoy: chocolate, popcorn & yogurt, clementines, cheesecake, raspberries 5 things I would do with 100 million dollars: pay off school debts, take my three best friends and travel the world, meet Angelina Jolie, donate to the WWF, buy my parents whatever they wanted 5 places I would run away to: Belize, the mountains with my 2 goats, the Galapagos Islands, Germany, my bedroom 5 things I wouldn't be caught dead in: schpants, a shrug, a bikini, a coffin (ha ha, I want to be cremated), the wrong room for my English exam next week 5 favourite shows: Queer As Folk... do I need anything else? 5 bad habits: procrastinating, being lazy, being girly, being a perfectionist, nagging/bitching 5 biggest joys: being alive, eating, sleeping, not being hungover, love 5 favourite toys: my computer/internet (when the damn thing decides to work), video games, air hockey, Mooink, me Tagging: anyone who wants to fill this out JeN's mind ejaculated @ 2:35 a.m. | |  |
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