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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Together, when she feels so full of love she could burst. She could have never asked for anything more than this feeling of bliss. Wrapped up in his arms she is complete. There is not a single thing wrong in the world. She can close her eyes and trust. He will protect her. Her lips curl into a smile as she raises her face to his. She bares her throat to him, her most delicate of places, placing her faith in the knowledge that he would never harm her.

Alone, she questions her feelings. What is love? What does it mean to be "in love"? If she really doesn't know how to answer those questions then how can she be so sure she loves someone? People have written about this thing they call "true love" but if she doesn't feel exactly as the texts describe, is she really in love? Can fondness be similar to love? Do butterflies in one's stomach only indicate infatuation? Perhaps someone being among one's every thought only brings out obsession.

Together, she knows exactly what she feels for him and nothing could shake her from that stance. She is in her place beside him and does her part to strengthen their bond. She is sure of herself and of her feelings. She does not question his feelings for her. She has never been able to do the whole "can you see yourself with this person ten years from now" thing but she isn't quite against sticking with him for a while (as hard as that is for her to admit). "Together" is a word that brings warm fuzzies to her soul. He makes her smile even when he's not near her.

Alone, she picks apart every flaw. How can things work out when they are so different? Different places in life, different experiences, different different different. Her mother was right: people won't stay together if they don't have anything in common. Unimportant commonalities don't count in the longrun. Is that what this is going to end up being? Another failed relationship. It's not like she wants to get married or even settle down, she'd just like some stability. She wants it to last long enough so that her cynic will quiet down. The longer they stay together the more restless the cynic becomes. Is there anything he can do or say to shut her up? If he can figure something out she highly suggests it.

Does she love him? Yes. How does she know this? She just feels it. How can she be so sure of what she feels. She just knows. How long will it last? She isn't sure. All she knows is that she wanted to be with him yesterday, she wants it today and she will want it tomorrow. Can he shut down her thoughts on this topic? Please do.

*stupid link of the day* Money Origami: do you have more money than you know what to do with? either way, you can learn how to fold it into shapes other than "dollar bill". (thanks, danae)
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