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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Friday, December 10, 2004

Toilet Seat Insanity: Strike VI

WARNING: an angry, possibly crazy post that may offend some people

First, you may want to read this post, followed by this one for the pictures.
*note* We live in a different place now and, if I had a camera with me at the moment, I would take pictures of our bathroom now.
Okay, so around 3:00am-ish, I decide it's high time I go to bed so I can wake up at a decent hour for studying tomorrow. I head into the bathroom to brush my teeth and, lo and behold, what do I see? The fucking toilet seat is up again! I had to deal with this last year too.
I am not a psycho who expects all men to put down the toilet seat at all times. My justification for this is that only girls live here (me and my female roommate) and we pee with the toilet seat down so therefore, upon entering this domain where females dwell, one should also put down the toilet seat. For me personally, upon entering a coed domain, I leave the toilet seat the way I found it. It's just a little respect thing that should be paid.
Anyway, a quick runthrough of what I put up with last year (and please understand that every single time I confronted Josh about the toilet seat, he would always reply with something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I'll do it next time. I promise":

  • Sept-Oct: me asking Josh politely to please put the seat down
  • Nov-Dec: me telling/demanding that he put the seat down
  • Jan-Mar: me swearing at him when I discovered he left the seat up
  • Mar: I finally snapped and went sign & tape crazy

After tonight, I went sign and tape crazy again. It's still the same Josh as last year and he still knows how much I can't stand the toilet seat thing. Since September, he's left it up 6 times (and I'm letting one slide the first week Debbie and I moved in). The first 3 times, I was nice and I didn't say anything because I figured I'd give him three strikes to get him back into the routine. The 4th time, I stomped around and swore and he apologized and said he wouldn't do it again. the 5th time, I made two small signs. One, an arrow pointing down that I taped to the bottom of the toilet lid so that one would be staring right at it if one faces the toilet while urinating. The other sign read "go down on me" and I placed it on the bottom of the seat so that, when one lifts the seat up, one will be able to read the sign.
The arrow has stayed up but, upon checking for my second sign tonight, I find it is gone. When was it removed? And who removed it?
Tonight, I snapped again. I am getting pretty fed up with this. He knows I don't like it so why can't he make a conscious effort to put the seat down? Is it really that difficult? And, she is supposed to be my roommate and friend so, since she is aware of how much the toilet seat thing bothers me, one would assume she would be kind enough to talk with her boyfriend and have him make the extra effort. NO! Because in Debbosh's world, no one else exists! I am so angry that my hands are shaking and I won't be able to go to sleep for a long time yet.
Here is an accounting of the additions to the bathroom that I made tonight:

  • another sign on the lid that says "'arrow' means 'down'"
  • the "go down on me" sign in the same place
  • 2 signs that say "down" on the toilet rim so one could look down and see them when seat is raised
  • a sign on top of the lightswitch that says "toilet seat check"
  • on the back of the door there is a strike count (reading 6)
  • on the back of the door, a sign that says"did you put the toilet seat down today?"
  • on the wall behind the toilet (so if one urinates while facing said toilet, one will be staring directly at the wall containing said sign) "you could always pee sitting down"
  • a sign on the floor in front of debbosh's room that says "go down on the porcelain god... please"
  • I taped the seat down

And, the pièce de résistance: (a sign I taped on the front of the bathroom door)

Upon entering this bathroom I agree to leave the toilet seat down when exiting.*
If I do not comply to above rule, I agree to forfeit my soul to JeN.
If I do not agree to above rule, I am free to use excretory/urinary
facilities at another location.
*exceptions made for when cleaning the toilet

I sit here, over an hour and a half later, wondering what Debbosh's reaction will be tomorrow when it exits its room and sees the sign on the floor, then procedes into the bathroom and takes in all the new additions. I'll probably get the ol' "why are you being so mean to Josh?" Will I be able to not laugh in anyone's face? I actually think I've been rather nice about this whole toilet seat thing. I mean, I take the time to make the signs amusing and, it's not like I am berating him to his face or threatening him or physically forcing him to use the washroom somewhere else. You can call me a psycho if you want but, this is how it's been going down. I am fed up with Josh. I am fed up with being a nice person.
[edit] When I got up this morning, all my signs in the bathroom had been taken down and replaced with one that read "This is ridiculous. if he did this every other day I would understand your frustration. however, it's normally once in a blue moon. Your anger is not necessary nor appreciated. Please recognize that a flipped toilet seat isn't the end of the world. You do many things many times that I don't like and I don't post notes everywhere possible. I'm between the two of you so I have to deal with this. I don't want to deal with this. Talk to you when I get home."
If he only does it "once in a blue moon" and he's done it 6 times in 3 months (discounting the first time cuz I'm nice) does that mean there's a blue moon every month? That seems pretty often to me! I actually can't believe that, last year, I waited seven months to do anything about this. I'm even surprised that I gave him so many chances this year. I'm too fucking nice.
And, I know exactly how this "talk" is gonna go: Debbie is gonna pull in every single thing I've ever done that's pissed her off, which isn't fair because this isn't about me, it's about Josh. It's about how he knows this upsets me and he still does it.
I mean, I dont care that Josh comes over here to see Debbie. I only ask one thing of him: leave the toilet seat down (well, 2: don't have sex everywhere) and he doesn't do it. It's like he doesn't respect me and I'm sick of it. I waited all last year and I gave him 7 chances this year. Yes, I could be overreacting, but this is last year's 7 months of pent-up anger + this year's 4 so that makes almost an entire year of promising to do something and then not doing it. I think it's high time I got fed up.
[update] We're going to make a chart like kindergartners have. Every day, if the seat is down, Josh gets a checkmark. If, by the end of the week, all days have checkmarks, he gets a sticker. Now all I have to do is make a cutesy little chart to put on the wall outside the bathroom.

*stupid link of the day* Dolphin Sex: to add to you thinking I am crazy, here is a website that tells you how to have sex with dolphins. I was quite sad when got taken down
JeN's mind ejaculated @ 4:37 a.m. | | permalink
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