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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Thursday, January 25, 2007

A Pfeffer and Missy video! it even includes a binky... that was not quite caught on camera so watch at around 0:58. Yeah, it's not the most interesting video around but it amused Devon and I and that's all that matters!

I've been feeling pretty off lately. I just have no motivation to do anything. Today I got an e-mail from the Pod's mother letting me know that there's been a new addition to their family: a rabbit. The Pod's little brother and his girlfriend got themselves a rabbit. Hopefully it won't meet the same doom that Whiskerless George Foo-Foo did. She did send me pictures of the adorable little bun. That makes two new members of that family I'll never get to meet. *sigh* I also asked his mother to tell him a couple things that I know he'd like to be aware of: a book both he and I were waiting over a year to come out in softcover finally has (and through a website about the authors I've just found out that there's another book from the series out already), and that a book series he and I both enjoyed has been picked up by HBO to become a television series. Is it weird that I still want him to know about those things? Yes... and no. When I found out, he was the first person I wanted to tell. After all this time and still he's the one I want to tell. Arg! It's frustrating and emotionally draining. One day it'll all go away. One day that can't come too soon.

I've also been offered the opportunity to try something I've never tried before. I'm not entirely sure if I'll be taking advantage of the offer though since it may end up getting a little complicated. Do I really want a fuck buddy? Granted, I'm not getting any but, then again, I'm not really looking to get any either. There's always the chance that emotions may get tangled up (he's a couple years younger than I am) and right now we're just friends who flirt a lot but it's all in good fun. Do I really want to run the risk of losing someone who is fun to hang out with? If I'm not exactly seeking anything physical then what is the point of having it available? Of course, the offer has been laid on the table but neither he nor I has claimed it yet. I don't even like the guy in *that* way. I mean, he's not ugly at all, but he's not really the kind of guy I usually go for and he's definitely not someone I could ever have a long-term relationship with. Getting older means things get more and more complex.

*stupid link of the day* the Flying Spaghetti Monster: so I feel like having a religious post here but, then again, so many other people flaunt their religion so why can't I show off my own?
JeN's mind ejaculated @ 12:31 a.m. | | permalink
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