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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Thursday, February 02, 2006

I want an engagement puppy instead of a ring. I was talking to a friend earlier today and she was telling me about how she and her boyfriend were starting to go ring shopping for her engagement ring. My first thought was something along the lines of "why is it always the guy who has to buy the ring for the girl?" which then led to "if she wants a ring so bad why can't she buy it herself? why does he have to foot the whole bill?" (yeah yeah yeah, tradition). So maybe it's the feminist in me coming out... just a tad.

I wouldn't find any enjoyment in a ring besides my usual "oooh shiny!" I don't want to wear anything with a real rock on it because I have a tendency to lose things. I also don't want a piece of jewelry that I am expected to wear all the time. I go through phases of wearing rings; sometimes I wear 'em for a while, sometimes I don't. To me, a chunk of metal with a rock on it doesn't signify commitment. An animal, someone you will have to raise and care for and look after means much more to me. A dog could easily live for 10 years so that is already a symbol of at least a decade of commitment right there (and with the divorce rate today, that's a long time). In typical romanticised fashion, I have already picked out the dog's name: Jester. Why that name? Because I would be the queen, my partner would be the king and, well, every court needs a jester. It's very nerdy, I know. The only positive point I can find for a ring would be being able to keep it as an heirloom, but since I don't plan on having children, that seems rather pointless. Besides, wouldn't a proposal involving a little cutie like THIS be so much more memorable?

I was tagged by Digger to complete the "Imperfect Partner Meme", so here it goes.
List 5 imperfections that you find annoying but could or have learned to live with. These are NOT deal breakers but they are irritating and annoying. But if your 8 perfect characteristics were met, you could learn to put up with these.
  1. Clashing taste in music: if my partner loves to listen to a band or genre of music I can't stand, like country, it irritates the hell out of me whenever they play it in my presence. I can, and have, learned to live with it.
  2. Inability to "let go": if I want to go skipping through the mall, I need to be able to know that my partner is either willing to skip with me or isn't bothered by me doing so on my own. if my partner can't just let go and be silly and childish with me sporadically, I find that irritating, but as long as we have similar senses of humour, I could live with it.
  3. Difficulty in accepting my feminist values: while I wouldn't be able to carry on a relationship with someone who puts down women, a partner who has a hard time wrapping their head around the concept of feminism irritates me, but I would at least need them to be willing to let me explain my feminist values to them and for them to accept those values.
  4. Habbits I personally find disgusting: such as nail biting, nose picking, stinky feet, etc. All those things irritate me to no end, but I am able to function through them (so far).
  5. Being superficial: when a guy is constantly noticing other women by the way they look/act even when he doesn't know the women is very annoying to me. Yelling things like "running won't make you pretty" at women who are jogging is extremely degrading and the guy who yells it will definitely get an irritated look from me. If he is willing to let me explain why things like that bother me and to respect my opinions (and not be a chauvinist like that around me), then I suppose I could survive.
Geez, at this rate, those eight perfect characteristics I have built up in my head better all exist within the same person. Yeah, so I set my standards fairly high. I don't think there's anything wrong with high standards as long as they're not impossible ones. I really just need someone with whom I can get along well with, laugh and joke with, share with, teach and learn from, love and lust for, explore with, have commonalities and differences with, and who I find reasonably physically attractive.

*stupid link of the day* RPG character generator: if you were a Playable Character (PC) in a Role-Playing Game (RPG) what would you be? clickety click to find out!
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