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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Thursday, September 01, 2005

At least I won't move downtown. Four days until I move back to school. Four days until I'm away from everyone again. This summer has been rather dull. The people I have hung out with have been the only people I've actually wanted to hang out with (with the exception of Nicole since she was working in Manitoba all summer). I went for a drink with Leya yesterday and we got to talking about "downtown", which for us is Toronto. It seems that so many people we know who have moved downtown due to school have come back as completely different people.

They're the kind who quietly think they're better than everyone else simply because they live downtown. They seem shocked that there are still people who exist who don't know someone who lives downtown. They only make plans that involve being downtown and they will only hang out if the location is downtown. It seems that this negative change in personality revolves around one school: the University of Toronto. The students who attend that school or one of its downtown affiliates seem to soak up the snobbery like a sponge. They immediately start to think that they are better than anyone else who doesn't attend their school and they do not give pause to admit that freely.

I was talking to a friend the other day and she too goes to school and lives in Toronto but does not attend U of T. She mentioned to me that, when passing by that school, the atmosphere changes and you can practically see the U of T students turning their noses up at you. She is the only person I know who moved to Toronto and came back as the same person. Now it seems that the people I could once freely call "my friends" only want to spend time with their fellow downtown members.

Why is it that they now shun the suburbs? What is so wrong with the suburbs? I enjoy them, especially around where I live. I don't have to be afraid to walk down my street barefoot and I'm only a half hour's drive from Toronto. It really bothers me that people can move away and come back completely different from who they used to be and how they shun everything that surrounded them while they grew up, even friends.

Something else that irks me: people who drop off the face of the planet once they start dating someone who isn't part of their circle of friends. I know someone who did that. I grew up with her and we saw each other a lot last summer. Since I've been back here I only received one e-mail from her and that was after I sent a few asking how she was. It turns out she had been pretty sick and then gotten into a car accident but that's no reason to not talk to me for four months. Then another one of my friends saw her at the gym... with a boy. Therein lies the reason for the non-contact all summer: dating.

So many changes and so many aren't good. At least this summer I got to figure out which of my friends really have value to me. To them I say thank you and I hope that we will remain this close for years to come. Ew, mush.

*stupid link of the day* Hobosexual: have you ever thought homeless people were sexy? Thanks Rob.
JeN's mind ejaculated @ 1:36 p.m. | | permalink
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