Sunday, August 07, 2005

A wedding in the middle of nowhere. So this is where rednecks get hitched. And this is the kind of thing I get dragged to once I become acquainted with one. So I went out to Simcoe this weekend to see the wedding of Brett and Leslie. I must admit, I didn't really have fun being around this wedding thing as weddings aren't really my cup of tea. So, random pictures for all to see! Once the slut sends me the pictures off of his mom's camera I shall upload some more.

The slut picked me up Thursday night after work and dragged me back to his place so we could wake up bright and early to make our way to Simcoe the next morning. Now, being as we didn't go to sleep until about 3:00am, we didn't exactly get out of bed at the time of 9:00am like we were supposed to. We finally dragged ourselves up an hour and a half later to get our asses in gear to stop at the slut's parents' place to pick up his mom's digicam followed by going out for brunch, then off to the country. We made a stop at the slut's uncle's house to say hi and I remained silent most of the time while they talked about cars and other stuff that went over my lil' head.
The slut on our way out to Simcoe
Me being grumpy at being dragged to the country without my pink hair
Grover Wan Kenobi, Brett & Leslie's 8-week old kitten
another shot of the kitten

Then it was off to the wedding rehearsal which I got to come along to since the slut was one of the groomsmen. I pretty much just sat in the back of the church attempting to read my book. I was a litle distracted by the pastor who kept barking commands at everyone so I took a few pictures to ease my boredom, then I tried unsuccessfully to nap.
I step on the bible
I also desecrate the bible with my Darwin Fish drawing (me = hellbound)

Back in Brett & Leslie's computer room which was my bedroom for the weekend, the slut and I signed the card he bought.
we tried to pick the least mushy card
I wear munz with my pink hair

On the day of the wedding, I was the only girl staying in Brett & Leslie's house. I was stuck with all the groomsmen. There was so much testosterone that I almost grew a moustache (I wrote "almost"). I got to get ready for the wedding with all the boys and I was all set to go before they were.
We look so snazzy
a shot of the church pre-ceremony
me killing time before the wedding started
if I looked down this is what I saw
one of the plum & silver bows decorating the pews
you have to fill this out to donate money?
the mother of the bride in her hot pink corset dress (yikes!)

Once the wedding started, my boredom eased since I had something to look at. The bridal party forgot to bring the ring into the ceremony so someone had to rush out and grab it. I don't think the bride noticed anything was wrong. The ceremony went by without a hitch and, according to Pastor Anger (yes, that's his real last name), "covetessness" is a word. It was very religious which was funny since no one among the groomsmen besides the groom himself is religious at all. I drowned most of the bible garble out anyway.
Leslie coming down the aisle
Leslie & Brett repeating their vows
a shot of the bridal party and the groomsmen
another ceremony shot
the maid of honour, Robyn, and the groom
Leslie & the boys (so cute)

After the ceremony was over, Alison, Tiffany (whose dates were also groomsmen) and I didn't want to wait in the receiving line and we were all hungry so we went out to Port Dover and got some food and sat near the beach. The wedding was over around 3:45 and the reception hall in Port Dover wasn't open till 5:30 at the earliest so we didn't want to wait around bored. We got some snacks and were just in time to see a parade of about 40 Jeeps cruise down the street. It turns out that you could rent one for under a dollar and take it out for a short while. The boys were all jealous that they missed out on seeing the parade so we enjoyed rubbing salt in the wound.
the silver jeep with the big tires
the parade. If you look carefully you can see the line of Jeeps coming up the street
the reception hall aka the community centre in Port Dover
the head table
The bride & groom's first dance song was "Drive" by Our Lady Peace. Who the hell picks a song like that? It's not even a good cover! The bridal & groom's parties got to dance to "The Reason" by Hoobastank. Now every time I hear that song I think of this damn wedding. The song is still overplayed on the radio too.
Brett & Leslie dancing as husband & wife
another first dance picture
Robyn & Dew (the maid of honour & the best man)
Ron & Kellie
Kelly & Marc
Sara & Joey (she had the coolest hair. I want it.)
Jen & Chris (I don't like her and I hate her boyfriend too)

The reception was a drag. Dinner was okay and I finally got to talk to the slut after being surrounded by strangers all evening. Much country music was played and some of the speeches made were rather extensive. The groom cried like a baby and it made me chuckle. Being able to put my feet up and eat pizza were the highlights of my evening. The slut made me dance with him but it was the second last song of the night so that was okay.
the happy couple
cutting the cake
the cake was pretty tasty

After that, exhausted, we go to go back to Brett & Leslie's house and go to sleep. In the morning, we were the only people left in the house since we weren't going to the bride's mom's lunch at 2:00 so the slut and I hung out and played with Grover.
the mandatory nerdy "couple" picture (ew)
the kitten is so tiny
he baby talks to the kitty, it's cute
meow, he's curious!
Look out for Grover's claws! my hands and arms are covered in scratches

Leaving the house was more fun since it was just me and the slut instead of me and a bunch of people I don't know. He gave me a tour through the counties around there and I saw more tractors than I have in one area ever before. Who knew there was a Boston, Ontario? I took some pictures of the scenery while we were driving and I was amazed at all the green fields everywhere! We went through Burlington and stopped for lunch and to see "the Dukes of Hazzard" which was funny but definitely a guy's movie.
Brett & Leslie's house = my weekend of torture (he's not supposed to be in the picture)
le green scenic route
again, more green
up the road all I see is green
Cockshutt Road: the road's name was the highlight of my day

*stupid link of the day* Maddox: so everyone knows of "the best page in the universe" for its random hilarity. Feel free to make use of its instructions on how to be a webcam whore or some other of Maddox's stories. JeN's mind ejaculated @ 11:51 p.m. | | permalink