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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

My first final is next Wednesday. Am I prepared? No. The course is ridiculous. It's a second year philosophy course entitled Gender Issues and, in taking it, I thought it would be a pleasant eye-opening course that would detail the problems that occur in society due to gender. Well, if I had been looking for a course that mentioned nothing but femi-Nazi theory and completely ignored male issues I could have looked into the dark depths of my own mind for that. I consider myself a feminist and the way this course is taught is the kind of bullcrud that gives feminism a bad name.

The only perspectives taken are those of females and most of the articles for the course readings are taken from feminist theorists. I had my last class tonight and we spent almost 2 out of the 3 hours of class time talking about one single article (out of three for that week) and going over the same points repeatedly. The topic for tonight was hermaphrodites and this was one of the few topics that did not focus solely on women/females, since hermaphrodites are considered neither male nor female by medical standards.

What we got drilled into our heads over and over was that since hermaphrodites are considered to be neither male nor female, the notion society has of having only two genders should be abolished and replaced with something that includes everyone. But then, why do humans feel the need to be able to categorize everything? Did you know that, at birth, one of the qualifications for whether a baby is male or female is the size of its phallus? And, upon deciding whether to dub said baby male or female simply by judging the external genitals, doctors actually consider whether it will be physically possible for the baby to urinate standing up and whether or not the baby will be able to penetrate a vagina (I am pretty sure the anus is not considered). Welcome to the world of medicine, everyone (ew, I almost wrote "ladies & gentlemen). It is here that your sex is decided based on your future ability to urinate on your own two feet or not.

Yes, I do agree that, when it comes to gender, worldwide societies are extremely narrow-minded. You're either male or female or in-between. In fact, we don't even like to mention the intersexed so we'll just pick either male or female. Anything else makes us uncomfortable. What's one of the first things asked when a woman is pregnant? Will it be a girl or a boy? As much as I try to not ask that question, I can't help the burning desire to know, and I hate that. If we see a child in public, for example, a baby dressed in yellow with bright brown eyes and curly dark hair, we feel a sense of distress if we can't figure out whether said baby is male or female. Why is that? Why do we care? It is a healthy baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes and a cute smile. It does not cry too much, it isn't finicky, it loves to see its caretaker(s). Why do we have to find out whether it's a little Betty or a little Benny?

Try as I might to give in to as few stereotypes as I can, I still get slightly ticked at myself at little things, like wanting to find out whether a baby is male or female. When my landlords brought their new baby home from the hospital back in October, my roommate and I went up to see it and, at first sight my roommate asked whether the baby was a boy or a girl and what it's name was (girl, Cecilia... in case you wondered). Then when I saw the baby, the first thing I said was "I'm glad you didn't dress her in pink" (she was all in yellow).

I'm just all AHHHHHHH after coming back from my gender issues class. I don't know anyone in the class who enjoys it. Granted, I only know maybe 10 people out of 60. Every time the class ends, I feel dumber. The first half of the course was much better since the professor seemed like she knew what she was talking about and, even though I didn't enjoy much of the topics or the readings, she could always engage the class in a good debate or discussion. The professor we have for the second half of the course is horrible. She never seems to know the course material in depth and when a student asks a question, her answer just restates the point the student asked about. She doesn't know any other material relating to the topic other than what we've been assigned so if, in discussion, we get off the topic of the readings but stay on the topic of what the readings are about, our professor can no longer answer any of our questions. The more she explains things, the less sense they make. I'm so very glad we got to do course evaluations tonight!

Now I get to go to bed since I have to wake up bright and early for my 8:30am class...
I wanted to say goodbye to Miha. I don't know if you'll read this, but I hope everything works out for you!

*stupid link of the day* Evil Turtle: have you ever seen Satan in a turtle's shell? Thanks for the link, Rob.
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