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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Back at school. *sigh* I can't believe classes start on Tuesday. It's way too soon. The school's bookstore is open tomorrow as its first day so the lineups are going to be insane and I'm not going to get anything bought without having my arms break off first from having to hold all my textbooks while standing in line for hours.

Christmas was pretty good. I got a mixer and some pans so I can do proper baking now. Perhaps I'll have a go at muffins? I also got "Story of O". I'll have a to do a post on what I thought of that read sometime. *makes mental note* I also bought myself some ben-wah (sp?) balls. They're quite heavy. I guess I didn't really need 'em cuz I'm not having any trouble keeping them in. Well, only once a ball slides down to about the last inch or so, but then there's no amount of squeezing that can keep the little bastard in anyway. Blame gravity. I went to a sex store with a friend and she bought a set too, just for kicks. She took a picture of hers and, as we got the same ones, I'm stealing the picture and posting it here. Hope she doesn't mind!
the balls

Anyway, my New Year's was fun. Leya had a party and it was good times. I got to see a lot of people I hadn't seen in a long time. I also got to get to know someone I was never really friends with before. Thanks for staying up all night with me, Aleem! Next time, we'll have to prank the people who pass out, right? I'll post pictures as soon as people send me some I can post (I didn't bring a camera). I also got my hair cut so a picture of that another day when I'm not damn exhausted.

The entire time I was at the party, I was thinking of kissing you at midnight. I was imagining different scenarios of how it would happen. Would you kiss me in front of everyone? Would you have quietly slipped me away somewhere more private? Would you have bit my lip to hear me gasp? Where would your hands have gone? Down my body, maybe under my shirt? How far up would they have travelled? How would you have kissed me? Softly and gently or rough and passionate? ... It was all very nice to think about, but very depressing because none of it actually happened. Maybe I'll ask you to describe a nice little scenario to me to make up for it. *sigh* I'm awful. I hope everyone else had a good New Year's and will have a good 2005 as well.

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*stupid link of the day* Textbook Disclaimer Stickers: highschool science is rather interesting, isn't it?
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