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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Fetish porn is the topic of my thought today. I figured this weblog needed a break from my whining about broken hearts and the like. Now, I've seen quite a bit of porn in the years I've been on this planet and I plan on seeing quite a bit more before I die. I don't really know why I watch it since it doesn't do a thing for me. Maybe I just watch it for shits n giggles (more of the latter than the former). I've seen whole movies and I've caught short clips of all kinds of stuff. I've downloaded some and seen it for free on internet websites. Mostly, I've seen heterosexual vanilla stuff, but also seen a handful of the not-so-mainstream stuff. One thing that always struck me as odd: the BDSM community is all for accepting people of all shapes, sizes and colours. In fact, many people in the community are white, middle/upper-class and over the average weight range. So, why is it that the majority of the fetish porn out there features tiny little size 0 white girls? The female subs are always waiflike with their big doe eyes and frail figures. The male subs are equally as slim and many look like they could be anorexic. Female Dommes often have very long blonde or black hair and are always tottering around on shoes that look like torture stilts while their perfectly shaped bodies are crammed into corsets to give them the wasp-waist. The male Doms are usually these big, beefy guys who appear to eat nothing nothing but meat n potatoes and live and breathe sports and working out at the gym (the typical macho man). In a lot of the porn I've seen, there isn't one ounce of compassion or caring like one would think there would be. Now, I understand that pornography is supposed to appeal to the masses and be stereotypical, blah blah blah. However, if the actual community is all about diveristy and acceptance, why doesn't the porn industry reflect that? I understand that everyone does prefer to look at the women who only have fat on their chest/hips, but whatever happened to all the amateur stuff that's full of mistakes and laughing and awkward moments and people being real people? Maybe whoever runs the world of BDSM porn also runs the rest of the world of porn which is why porn actors look the same all over. Personally, I would much rather see people who do this on a regular basis acting out a scene than actors who may have never done it before (except in rehearsal... porn movies have rehearsals, right?). I just think it's funny how real people in the lifestyle encompass so many varying types of body size and race while all the porn you can find from the same lifestyle is chock-full of "models". Am I just not looking in the right places? Has anyone else notcied this too or am I just not searching hard enough? I've run out of steam on that topic. Never get distracted by your roommate when you're going off on a tangent.
My parents came to visit me today and we went grocery shopping and I found chocolate bread. It's amazing. I want to know how it was made. Thank you Sobeys! Also, I got bored this evening and took a bunch of crappy pictures with my webcam so expect to see them as my "this is me" picture (on the left near the top) over the next while. Here's one:

my pink bra (Nov 28, 2004)

*stupid link of the day* Groundhog: an angry groundhog who threatens to beat you with a stick. Funny for a while, then it just goes on waaaaay too long.
JeN's mind ejaculated @ 10:02 PM | | permalink
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