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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Monday, October 04, 2004

Today's post is a rant about feminism. You are forewarned, so if you don't care to read what I think, then hit the back button on your browser or something. I wanted to spell it "womyn", but I refrained. Be proud. I asked a question to Sarah a little while ago because I wanted to know what her views were on submission and feminism. I thought that she should most likely have one, her being a sub and a woman and all. The reply was not entirely what I expected. I do appreciate very much that she took the time to answer my question with such honesty. Thanks again, Sarah! I appreciate your views.

Now, I am going to put out a reply that no one in particular is forced to read. It's just what I think. When I read the post, I was shocked in a way. And, after reading all the comments, I was even more shocked. I always thought that most, if not all women, would be proud to be feminists. But, lately it seems that feminism has taken a turn for the worst. It has entered into the category of society's little fads, along with 80s hair and the Spice Girls' cries for "girl power". Yes, those Brits did make a statement for females to be proud of being female but, I think that now too many women are taking their gender for granted and have not really thought about what it means to be female. Yes, we can wear make-up, act like little girls all day, we can expect gifts and show cleavage, but there is so much more to it than that.

To me, feminism is about equality. I do acknowledge that males and females will never be equal biologically. Men will always be physically stronger and women will always be more more in touch with their emotions. What I mean when I mention "equality" is not that I want men and women to be equal human beings, as that will never happen, but I mean that I am striving for men and women to have equal rights.

I want women to be paid the same wages as men, not 76 cents to a man's dollar (or whatever it is lately). I want men to be able to have a say in whether or not their female partner has an abortion. I want women to be able to charge someone for rape and not be asked if what they were wearing that day made them look like a slut. I want men who have a lot of sexual partners to be called "whores" too. I want older women to be seen as "distinguished" and not "dried up". I want men to be able to touch their friends affectionately and not be worried about someone calling them a "fag". I want a man and a woman to be friends without having other people wonder if those two are sleeping together. In the end, I no longer want people to see the human female as inferior to the human male. I want us both on the same level.

From reading that post and the comments that followed, I got the impression that feminism was to exist, but not to be talked about. Ever. How can it exist if we don't talk about it? Feminists are not male-haters. Albeit, there are some women who have a dislike of men and there are men who have a dislike of women. We call is misandry (hatred of men) and misogyny (hatred of women) and most people do not look upon it as something productive. I can readily admit that I have "male bashed" before. However, I try to limit it to only my close female friends and I never mean anything crude by it. It's just something we all do. People like to make fun of people who aren't themselves. Why else do you think "yo momma" jokes are so popular? Why else does Britney Spears stay on the front page of the tabloids? Why else do we care who is gaining weight and who is losing it? Why is Jerry Springer still on television? Because people put down other people to feel better about themselves! It is in everyone's nature. Some people may do it more harshly and more often than others, but we all do it. Even something as small as seeing someone pass you and thinking in the back of your mind "ew, what were they thinking when they got dressed this morning?" We like to feel better than others. It gives us a heightened sense of esteem. And, until men and women become one gender, men will forever make fun of women and women will forever make fun of men. That's just the way life goes.

As for the whole "submission" deal, I have gone online and looked at many different sites about women who are submissive and they write about their struggles with submission and feminism. I understand that the two can co-exist happily, but until you find that spot, you will be torn. Feminism is about being a woman who can make her own choices and can live her own life and not having to worry that a man will one-up you just because he is a man and not because he is better than you. Yes, submission involves the choice of being submissive, but for those women who submit to men, it is almost like acknowledging that the man is better than you simply because he is a man.

My sexuality is straight and, if I was to submit to someone, I would submit to a man. I would indeed be another one of those women who need to find a happy medium between submission and feminism. I am a woman and I want to be able to stand up and announce that. I want to be able to live my own life the way I choose and suport myself financially and emotionally. If I made the choice that my life was to be lived in submission to a man, yes, I would be choosing that life, but, in a way, I would also feel like I was letting my fellow women down. It's hard to explain. It's kind of one of those things you have to experience for yourself. Submission, while being what you feel is right for you, is also what women have been fighting so hard to escape from.
My fingers hurt now and I am running out of things to say without being redundant.

on a lighter note...
*stupid link of the day* Tucker Max tries butt sex": this is one of the funniest things I have read in my entire life. I almost cried because I was laughing so hard. The other stories aren't too bad either, but this one is by far my favourite.
JeN's mind ejaculated @ 8:31 p.m. | | permalink
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