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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Thursday, October 07, 2004

I don't want to do the school thing anymore. It's too hard and I have no motivation. I had a midterm and an essay today. Tues & Wed, I have 2 more midterms and it just goes on from there. More essays, group presentations, research paper, language labs, quizzes, studying studying studying. Does it never end?! The only classes I am taking this term that I actually like are my SMF classes. Today was just an awful day though. Since all my classes are back-to-back, I was studying for my midterm throughout my other two classes today. I've hardly slept in a couple days (work, personal crises, etc) and I'm exhausted. I want to curl up and not do anything anymore. Also, I am in some dire need for affection. I want snuggles and kissing and hand-holding and giggles and flirting and touching and love. I feel very empty inside. Kind of like I've been deserted. It's Turkey Day weekend and all I'll be doing is studying for my stupid midterms. I've been listening to sappy love songs and that probably has something to do with my need for affection. It's really weird cuz, at the same time that I want snuggles, the thought of them revolts me. Makes me think of Debbosh and its' disgustingess and how it likes to come into my room with its female half (topless!) being piggybacked by the male half and, despite my obvious lack of enthusiasm, it didn't leave right away. Whenever Debbosh does little things like that (it thinks it's so cute), I hate couples even more than I already do. I'm not implying in any way for couples to not be affectionate to one another, but don't try to include another person(s) in your affection unless you're into threesomes or group sex. Debbosh makes me want to be single for the rest of my life. Of course, I am quirkyalone and therefore have no problem with that usually. Just for the past little while I have been feeling lonely. Is that so wrong? Someone give me some snuggles... or at least show affection for me in some way. Yes, I am asking nicely.
webcammy goodness Oct 7th, 2004

*stupid link of the day* Sweaty Palms: a dating simulator where you have to try and get a hold of your date's hand. Dumb idea? yes
JeN's mind ejaculated @ 8:38 p.m. | | permalink
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