Wednesday, September 29, 2004

Today, in one of my sex classes, we were talking about dating and what are the differences (if any) between dating and serious relationships. There was a lengthy discussion and I'm sure we could have easily talked through the whole class, but unfortunately, the prof still had stuff to lecture on. Dating, it seems, is viewed as a more casual thing. Like how you would start to get to know someone you have a physical interest in (unless you just plan on sleeping with them). Of course, there are always problems between people to clarify what exactly is a date. Like, there was one girl who told us about how this guy she knew came to help her volunteer at a camp for a day and he saw the two of them volunteering together as a date while she certainly didn't. I never once went out on an actual date with my first boyfriend. Sure, we hung out and went places, but I never saw any of it as a "date", even though we were "dating". So, for me, my first date happened to be with my best friend's boyfriend at the time (yes, she was okay with it, she even encouraged it). I had told him how I had never been out on a date so he said he would take me. It was totally platonic and we had a lot of fun. He came and picked me up and we went to dinner and a movie. You know, the stereotypical date scenario. Since then, I have gone out on other dates, and I have also "hung out" with people. I don't think that asking someone if they want to do "something" or if they want to "hang out sometime" would qualify as a date. I think that asking a more official question like "would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow night" would go under the "date" category. I mean, you can "hang out" with your friends anytime, but a date is something a little more special.
To me, a serious relationship is when you've gotten past the just dating phase and have moved on to a deeper level of intimacy. Not necessarily just the physical kind, but also emotional in how much you are willing to disclose to that person. Once you start mentioning things taking place in the future ("what are you getting me for Christmas?", "this summer we'll go camping", etc) and start to think of yourselves as something long-term and share your goals and dream with each other, that's when I think you enter a serious relationship. Especially after you discuss whether or not you are going to see each other exclusively. I mean, when you are dating, you are always free to date and get to know other people, but when you are in a serious relationship, you are only with that one other person and you both know it.
My class also talked about marriage today and how views on it are so different than they were maybe 50 years ago. Today, women are choosing school as their first option and relationships come later. The people I know who are my age and are engaged/getting married, for some reason, I think may be crazy. I know that sounds so harsh, but that's kind of how I feel. I just want to go "why are you doing this now? you can have so much mre ahead of you!" And, I know that at least one of my friends is making the right decision for herself, but I still can't help thinking "you're so young...". If I wanted to do what my mother did, I would have to be married already and have my first child next year at the age of 22 and I am nowhere near that stage in my life. If I was to get married, I don't plan on having children and I don't want to be a homemaker (I think I would get too bored) so, even if my husband could support me financially, I think I would want to go out and have a decent job and do something for myself. And, if I didn't get married, then I would at least be independent (once I pay off the loans for school...). So, for me, getting an education is more important than getting married right now. I could go on about these topics more, and I would like to, but I am getting tired of typing and I have homework to do. Feel free to leave an opinion if you want. That way I'll know someone exists out there...

*stupid link of the day* Panda Pang: a flash game (in Japanese) where a panda gets a gun and has to shoot weird alien blobby things. You die if one touches you, and they attach to you like facehuggers from the "Alien" movies!
JeN's mind ejaculated @ 2:15 p.m. | | permalink