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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Friday, September 24, 2004

Social exchange theory in a relationship. You give what the other person wants, and the other person gives what you want. If this continues, so does the relationship. But how do you know what to give the other person? I guess some of it is obvious, like attention, affection, and time. Is it possible to ask the other person what they want out of a relationship? Is it possible for you yourself to know what you want out of a relationship? I mean, all I want is someone to spend time with me, listen to me and make me laugh. The problem is, I might be able to get that from a friend. So, besides sexual attraction, there has to be something more that I want from a non-platonic relationship. Besides having a good time, I don't know what that something is. How can you be expected to give someone what they want if you yourself don't even know what you want? What if you are in a relationship that seems to be going well and you start wondering about what exactly you are giving your significant other. If you feel that you are not giving much of anything, then you will start to wonder why they are with you. Are they with you for purely physical reasons? or maybe there is some stuff under the surface that you maybe haven't considered. What if they don't want anything from you? Will the relationship still be able to work then? I believe that you have to be able to give/get at least a little something to stay in a relationship. What if you feel that you have nothing to give? And what if your significant other is okay with that. If that is the case, will your relationship ever be able to go anywhere?
If someone is always supposed to love more than the other person, will knowing who loves who more affect the relationship? If so, positively or negatively? If the person who loves more is the sub (b/c of dependence on other person?), will they be more dramatically affected if the Dom does something that they feel hurts them in some way? i.e., not talking to them everyday, leaving abruptly, giving one word answers (small stuff that could have many different reasons for happening that the sub may happen to interpret wrong).
And can a relationship succeed, last and/or prosper without perfect trust?
School makes me think about stuff I don't want to think about.

*stupid link of the day*
the Banana Museum: everything you could possibly want to see about bananas.
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