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I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me I feel alone. I don't know why, because I know I'm not. I have family and friends. I'm even going to the zoo tomorrow with Steph and Nicole . It should be fun, despite the fact that it's going to be cloudy weather. The last time I went was a couple years ago with Steph and Nicole. We had a pretty good time. I also get to see Steph's new car tomorrow. It was her birthday present to herself. A pretty damn good one at that! The weather today suits my mood: rainy and blah. It poured today and I stood on my driveway and let the rain fall on me. Maybe I was hoping it would wash away some of the bad feeling. Nope. I still feel like crap. I feel like there is nothing good anymore. Like I could never be happy again. Like I want to curl up in a ball and ignore the rest of the world. Heh, I am so turning into a typical brooding teenager. ![]() Being selfish just seems to be so much easier. I should just shut out everyone and everything and concentrate on me until I get what I want. So why exactly don't I do that? While away from everything at school, it would be so easy to do. And I think I could do it. Sure, it would be difficult at first, but I think after a few months I would be okay. Why won't I do it then? Fuck. I need help. *stupid link of the day* The Straight Dope: ever wondered what the lyrics to "Louie Louie" are? or maybe what the term "ok" really stands for? Find answers (or at least clever wit) to those questions and more in this site. JeN's mind ejaculated @ 9:38 p.m. | | ![]() ![]() |
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