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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Wednesday, July 07, 2004

feeling: concerned (thank you, WWF!)
listening to: Suzukaze Mayo - Namida Wa Shitteiru
wearing: jeans & army green t-shirt
eating/drinking: nothing

So today started off really blah. It was rainy and cold all day and, now that the day is ending, it's getting sunny. What a bitch. I could have done laundry today. My brother's girlfriend is over. Again. I don't know why she always comes over here. He never goes out to see her. It's always her that comes here. Aren't relationships supposed to be between equal partners? Maybe that's just my personal opinion. Tomorrow promises to be a better day. Andrea called me yesterday and said she was free on Thursday so the two of us should hang out. I haven't seen her in a while so it should be good times. I said I wanted to play video games and she said she wanted to go swimming. We've got the perfect plan, she'll come over here, we'll swim, then go back to her house where she's got the PS2 and we'll try to get a little further in FFX. That game is so good! And she bought it so we can play it whenever we want to. Of course, she also works at Blockbuster and can rent it for free... I think my window needs patching up. There's always bugs in my room and I think they must squeeze through the window panes or something. It's not just earwigs and the usual creepy-crawlies that are in every house, it's these things that look like giant fireflies but don't flash. They're huge with a shell that makes this loud clicking sound every time they fly into something so I always know when one is in my room. They wake me up at like 3:00am and I have to trap them somehow and take them outside (I will not kill something on purpose; that's cruel). The other day, there was a hornet in my room. It freaked me out. I was lying on my bed reading a book and I glanced over beside me and the hornet was walking around on the bed just by my right elbow. I didn't want to get stung so I got my dad to catch it and put it outside. I wish it was tomorrow already so that Andrea and I can hang out. Maybe later in the day, we can give Lauren a call cuz she really likes FFX as well. The three of us have been playing it off and on. We only use walkthroughs when we get completely stuck (yes, I know it's cheating but it's also a last resort). I think we've only had to look at one tow or three times so far. And I like to think we've gotten reasonably far into the game. Maybe a third of the way through it? Might even be halfway.
I was watching the Discovery Channel a while ago and there was a telethon-type thing for the WWF that caught my eye. I learned about an animal I had never heard of before: the Bottlenosed Whale. They live off the coast of Nova Scotia and there's only 130 left in the entire world! That makes me so sad. They are dying because of the sonar that ships use to detect submarines. The sonar disrupts the sonar the whales use and it gives them brain hemorrhaging. Also, humans use something called "seismic blasting" to detect where natural gas and oil are off the coastline and the WWF is trying to do research to find out whether or not this affects the whales. I hope not. I don't like to think of any animals dying. There are probably thousands dying all over the world even as I write this. It's enough to make me cry. Maybe this has inspired someone else to go look into it.

*non-stupid link of the day* Care2: a website for people to join (for free or you can donate) that helps promote a better planet to live on. For example: Approximately 200 Manatees are killed by human activities each year. In 2001, there were just 3,270 manatees in Florida. "Care 2 make a difference!"
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