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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Saturday, March 27, 2004

So, I just saw a huge spider crawl across my monitor. It is now underneath the screen somewhere out of my sight. I wondered where it had gone. I saw it scuttling across my wall last week and I hadn't seen it since. Does this mean it lives in my monitor now? It's a really big spider too. It's a light brown colour and it has six black eyes. It should really find somewhere else to live though. I don't think there's much food for it on my desk. Maybe if I put it outside...
Anyway, it's another weekend with Debbosh. I've only left my room three times so far today; once to get food and twice to pee. It's only 8:30. How will I make it until tomorrow? I don't even really have anything to write about. I'm just so bored. I don't want to study and there isn't anyone who I really want to talk to online at the moment. *sigh* I hate Debbosh. They were so loud this morning when they were making breakfast. It annoyed me cuz I stayed up late last night (5:00am) on purpose so I could sleep in late and avoid them, and instead I get woken up at 11:00 this morning by pots and pans clanking and horrible/awful/torturous singing. I think I might kill Josh. That might make me feel better. I thought about it this morning while I was painstakingly trying to get back to sleep and it made me feel better. And I wasn't thinking about quick painless deaths either. Does this make me a mean person? I don't think so.
I was talking to Meagan last night. We had a pretty good conversation, even if the topic was a little awkward. We were talking about *him*. Beautiful, isn't it? The current and the ex both talking about the same guy. If only he knew... ha ha. She told me he's afraid of me. ME! Now, that's just plain funny. I didn't think I was a scary person. Guess I am now.
I got an e-mail from Kelly yesterday, which was nice cuz I haven't gotten anything from her in a while. She wrote that she's been busy. Understandable as I have too. And she also wrote that she got me a shirt from Peach Berserk, where she works! Isn't that sweet of her? I had told her that the first time I went into that store I saw a shirt that I really liked. It had an image of two attractive women on it and one was saying to the other "men think we're too pretty to be lesbians" and I thought it was such a funny shirt. But, alas, since the stuff at that store is all done by hand, I could not afford it. But I told myself that, once I could afford it, I would go to the store and get it. Now, I don't have to cuz Kelly is such a sweetheart! The bad part is that, I don't even know when I'll see her next. Poop. Sometime over the summer probably. I hope a whole bunch of people can all get together sometime when school is done. That would be good cuz then I could see everyone all at once. Many birds with one stone, I suppose. And shindigs are always loads of fun! Well, that's all for now. I'm boring and I'm bored.
the lovely Kelly


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