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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Thursday, September 25, 2003

Well, Linz, luckily it's not the type of boy issues where it's "I like him. Do I tell him?" Nosirree, not this time. Maybe next time I see you online I'll tell you about it cuz I'd rather not post it on here just yet. Besides, nothing's happened so, at this time, I don't really feel the need to panic about making a decision. I'm actually talking to him on MSN right now. And being annoyed by him. Are all guys designed to get under my skin, or just the ones that have specific involvement in my life? Now I'm just being bitter, as usual. I'm not feeling well today. In fact, I'm feeling downright shitty. I think it's cuz it's about to be "that time of the month". You know how it is: you feel unattractive, your stomach is queasy, everything stresses you out... and yesterday, I got a zit on my chin. Life is grand. I had my test in SMF 206 today and I don't think I did that well on it. I also wore really tight pants today, which normally I don't mind on me, but today I think they look like crap. Maybe I'm retaining water. Debbie and Josh are going to see a reading with Douglas Coupland tonight and I'm not going so I think I'll watch "The Bone Collector". I bought it yesterday for $7 (yes, it's another Angelina Jolie movie). I miss being at home. I miss everyone. Kevin's play is this weekend. I hope I'm feeling better by tomorrow or else I won't be going to see it. I might have caught the illness Josh had at the beginning of the week. I hope not cuz he wasn't feeling well at all. Just like me right now! Yay... Ugh, I feel awful and I'm irritated with males. That's right, males. Not even specific ones. All of them. I'm irritated with all of them (just for today). Maybe select ones tomorrow. I'll know by tomorrow. Why am I feeling so sick?
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