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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Saturday, August 16, 2003

Andrea, this entry is for you. You're mad at me cuz you always think I take advantage of you cuz you have a car. I disagree. You may have thought that I seemed like I didn't care when you were talking to me on the phone. Yes, I can understand where you're coming from, however, I think it is my turn to state some facts. I have never once asked you to drive me anywhere. You are the one who calls me and asks if I want to go somewhere with you. You are the one who sometimes does not want to hang out with me because you don't have the car, even though I only live about a 15-20 minute walk away from you. When I come to your house in the evenings, if I stay late then you are the one who says that you will drive me home, I have never asked you to. If you wanted gas money you could always ask, but you never do. You are the one who has ditched me many times to hang out with Sam. You even ditched Lauren's birthday party (your best friend) to go to Canada's Wonderland with Sam last year. The only times we've gone out drinking together was at Petrina's where we walked home (and that one time with you, me and Sam where she was sleeping over at your house and you said you'd both walk me home cuz you knew my parents wouldn't let me walk home by myself at night, and then at the last second you said you weren't cuz you were "too tired" so I had to walk home alone down Harwood at 12 at night. Yes, you told me to call you when I got home but I was so angry at you I almost didn't want to call you just to see if you would even care.). So, you see, what I am trying to tell you is that I am not the one who takes advantage of you, because to me it seems to be the other way around with you always cancelling plans to go out with Sam. Look, I'm gonna give you a few days to cool off cuz I know you're mad and I am too but we've been friends sonce grade 9 and I think we can get through this, okay?
JeN's mind ejaculated @ 8:29 PM | | permalink
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