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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

Saturday April 19th I went to the T-dot with Will, Lauren and Seanny boy. It was her and Sean's 6-month anniversary and they were going to the Old Spaghetti Factory for dinner. I love that restaurant! They have such good food there. We had a fun day downtown and, eventually, Will and I came back to Ajax and we had dinner at East Side’s where we ran into Cam and Caitlin. It was nice to see them, especially Cam cuz he wasn’t with Sarah. After Will called Ryan and we ended up at Rendezvous with him, Steve Uger and Steve Fleet (ick). Ever since certain members of my friends started reassociating (is that a word?) with Steve Fleet, they’ve changed, and not for the better. They have become more like Steve Fleet, which means arrogant and pig-headed. Ryan, Steve Fleet and Will started having this conversation about music. Ryan said he hated fan bases because most fans don’t really “get” what the artist is writing about. I’m sorry, hasn’t he ever heard of people interpreting things differently? Since when did he become the Matt Good god? The only reason he “gets” so much about Matt Good’s writing is cuz he sees all the interviews and whatnot. Ryan is always going on about how he likes people to share their opinions, but then he goes and shuts those opinions down. The boys said some really nasty things about some people and those people’s views on music. Things I was almost ashamed to be friends with those boys for. How dare they say they are open and accepting! I couldn’t believe some of the stuff that was coming out of their mouths! Of course, I’m not mad at Steve Uger cuz he was like me and choosing to opt out of the nasty conversation. I hate how Ryan thinks he has superior music taste just because he only listens to artists that are looked upon as “deep”. How can he be so sure he is even right about his interpretation of these songs? Is he a personal friend of these artists? Do they call him up and give him a rundown of their albums? Here’s an example: some of my friends went to see Matt Good in concert and the band that opened was called The Dears and Katie Bell didn’t like them. She said: I know a lot of you went, and those who didn't don't really care. However, I gotta say this: Matt Good was amazing! House of Smoke and Mirrors ws by far my favourite of the night. Who am I kidding, the whole thing was my favourite. The Miniatures were pretty good...I still don't like The Deers (sorry Kev D. and Ryan) overall I can now die happy! And Ryan’s reply to that was: The Dears sucked because they put effort into their music and used more than 4/4 timing. See what I mean? Couldn’t he even consider the fact that maybe she just didn’t like the way the Dears sounded or something? No, he automatically goes to assume that it’s cuz they don’t sound like everyone else. He thinks you’re somehow inferior if the music you like doesn’t fit his view of “deep”. Sometimes I just wanna smack those boys and make them listen to themselves and how arrogant they sound. How dare they go around bashing fan bases when they themselves are part of the fan base! How dare they claim to “know” an artist when it is the exact same thing that they say they hate! I just wish they could act the way they claim they act: accepting and open-minded.
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