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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Tuesday, April 01, 2003

Happy April Fool's Day, I suppose. It's after 12:00 so all the pranking should be over with, according to the April Fool's rules. But is it? NO! For a prank on the girls, some of the boys decided to take all the shower heads out of our shower stalls so we can't take showers (some of the girls have been using the guys' washroom instead) and they haven't replaced them yet. Grrr... Okay, the joke has worn off and it's time to end it. I don't know who the boys were that pulled the prank but, personally, I think that Mr Neil Cavan had a part to play in it. I wish they'd put the shower heads back. I would like to take a shower and would prefer not to take it in the boys' washroom (ew). I have a final tomorrow and have yet to start studying for it. It's Philosophy and I can't seem to motivate myself to read anything. I'm not going to do very well in that class since, the first test I got a 53, the second test I got a 57 and I didn't do one of the assignments. I also have an English essay due on Friday and I haven't started with that either. My marks aren't going to be very good at all this term cuz I've got Philosophy, English and Sociology and all those classes I'm not doing that well in. My only hope lies in Psych and SMF (I am too scared to look at my test marks in those classes). If I don't do well in at least those two classes, I will be crushed. Why does university have to be so hard? I also have a dilemma: Tiff's friend Benji (a really cool kid) is coming to visit her this weekend and I want to go home this weekend so I can have a break and bring some of my stuff home as well that I won't be needing. I may or may not have a crush on Benji (because somehow, I have not been blessed with the knowledge of realizing if I have a crush or not). I would like to see him this weekend cuz he was really fun to talk to and nice, but I would also like to go home so I can have a short break from university life. Ah, decisions, decisions! I have to decide by tomorrow evening. Here's something crazy: last week I didn't need a coat to go outside cuz it was so sunny and warm (just like the perfect spring weather!)... Today there's snow on the ground. *sigh* Why? Is Mother Nature playing an April Fool's joke as well? Life is frustrating lately and I want a break from it. Also, Steve F is really pissing me off. He argues with everything I say, even though he may not have grounds to, and he is also really perverted and divulges WAY too much information that you should not tell other people (for example, that he shaves his balls... so GROSS!). It's nasty and I want him to stay away from me. Also, he is always staring at me or touching me and it makes me really uncomfortable. Why can't he just stay at his gf (??)'s place and never come back to South D. I wouldn't mind and I don't think the other girls or his roomie (Guy) would mind either. *shudder* Enough of that cuz I'm getting all creeped out. I gotta go get some studying done so I at least have a chance of passing Phil.
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