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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Sunday, November 17, 2002

I am back and I didn't cry all weekend! :) I'm proud of myself. I feel more numb than anything but that's a helluva lot better than being sad. However, going home I found out some info that continued my horrible week. My dog is quite ill. He has a problem with his bum and it won't go away no matter how many medications he's taken. Next week he's going for a biopsy and my parents are thinking of putting him down. I love my doggy! I wished for eleven years for a dog and it finally came true. Besides, he's still a fairly young puppy; he's only seven. This is sad. Why must my week suck so much? The good news is that, today being Sunday, a new week has started and I do hope it will be a good one. It can't be all bad cuz Will is supposed to visit me this weekend. I look forward to seeing him. I haven't seen him in about a month. I miss my little studpastry. Yesterday was a very embarrassing day. I went to Andrea's house with Lauren and we decided to go rent a movie cuz the weather was really bad and we didn't have anything else to do. So, we went to the south end blockbuster cuz it's only about a five-minute walk from Andrea's and, when we got there, I think the saleslady thought we were gonna steal something cuz she kept following us around. I guess it doesn't help that my coat is a black trenchcoat. But, if I was gonna steal something, why would it be from a Blockbuster? Okay, so we finally picked our movie and we go to the cash to pay, and it just so happens that no one else had a customer just then and all the cashiers were gathered around this one register and the saleslady said really really loudly "so you finally decided, eh?" What else are we supposed to do in a movie store? And then she proceeds to announce to the rest of the store what we rented (like they cared) and kept talking loudly throughout the whole process of paying. She was even gonna go grab us another copy of the movie cuz it wasn't fully rewound, but we told her not to. The whole "scene" was so embarrassing. I am never going to that store again! It was just awful. Anyway, that was my amusing story about my weekend. I'm gonna go now and not cry.
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