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feeling: JeN's mood @ www.imood.com
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my thoughts

I can't believe that what I feel is really happening to me
Make it hurt
And point the finger at my insecurities
Well I guess I just don't understand about those complexities in your mind
And I guess I just don't understand why this world seems so unkind
Maybe just once I get what's coming to me.

**"Maybe Just Once" - Nine Inch Nails**

Wednesday, October 30, 2002

We're back to the pretty font colour. Anyway, we never had a bonfire cuz the firepit turned out to be a big puddle since it had been so rainy. Tomorrow in psychology we get our midterm marks back and I am so scared. What if I failed? What will I do if I did? It's worth 30% of my final mark. I hope I'll be okay. I'd like at least a 60, but 70 would be better. On to a happier note: In two days I get to go home and see almost all my friends! And then have a party at Andrea's! Commencement should be boring and I don't really want to go. I'll get to see Kevin all prettied up though. I talked to him last night and he said that once he stops being so tired all the time he'll have a four-hour phone conversation with me. I laughed cuz I don't think he'd be able to spend that long on the phone. He'll keel over long before then. Usually I can weasel him into talking to me for about an hour but never any more than that. Mmm... I'm eating watermelon right now and it's really good. One of my molars really hurts and I'm hoping that it's hurting for no reason. I don't want to find out that I have a cavity or that I'll have to get my wisdom teeth out or anything. I am not a fan of pain or operations. Man, I still don't have a costume for Halloween; it's really sad. I'm sure I'll pull something together at the last minute. Monday, when we went to Value Village I got the rest of Kevin's birthday present. I found a shirt (which I don't even know if he'll fit into) that says "Woodstock Youth Camp" on it and I think it's pretty cool. I also bought him a pair of girls' panties. They haven't been worn and they're white with little neon pink and orange flowers all over. I think it'll be funny cuz I'm gonna wrap them in the shirt so he won't see them right away. Ha ha! I also have the Clockwork Orange photo that I got at the poster sale. All in all, I think it'll make a pretty okay present. I hope he'll like it anyway. Man, am I ever insecure! Right now I'm on MSN with Kayla and I'm so happy cuz I haven't talked to her in forever. :) I miss her. I get my PoliSci essay back on Friday but, too bad, cuz I won't be there! Mailiis wants to leave at 8am on Friday and, since I'm getting a ride with her, that's the time I'm leaving. Ugh, so early. Tim told me to come to AHS around lunchtime so I can visit people. It'll be fun! And weird cuz I'll get to see the caf with Cafrica gone missing cuz they've all gone to the new school. I can't picture the caf Cafricaless. It's too hard. And I can see who sits at my table now. I hope they're cool people and not little grade 9s or anything like that. Anyway, I'm going to go and try to do some homework so I won't have to do it this weekend (like I would anyway) and next time you hear from me I'll be talking all about Commencement. L8R!
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